The Desolation of Dawg.

As daylight fades in Le Vallée de Ger, haunted moans disturb the peace.

A tortured groan echoes across the valley, as if a great beast lies dying of terminal indigestion.

These sounds of dire distress last throughout the night, dispersed only by the late-coming morning sun.

What tortured soul makes these desolate cries? What foul misfortune has befallen some unfortunate beast?

As autumn falls each year, these sounds can be heard resonating around the Pyrénées. Surely no beast deserves such hell? All puny humans shelter in fear of what has befallen out in the lonely forests, bereft of all hope.

It is said by some that these forelorn sounds are actually those of rutting deer; their once yearly copulatory excesses leading them to vocalise their joy.

But we know better…

Faking it.

To fiddle or not to fiddle.

Coming to the end of an amazing holiday can be very sad. Loving photography changes that.

The week in Tanzania was awesome. Approaching the last day generated a mixture of longing for the holiday to never end, and anticipation for the first proper look at all those photos.

During the week I had looked at almost none of them. On return, it took some time to sort all 3,250 photos taken during that incredible week.

With some I was really pleased. Some of the scenery shots I love…

and the wildlife presented endless opportunities…

And so, feeling rather pleased with myself, I eagerly posted many of my favourites to Flickr, thinking that some would trigger a lot of feedback. My ego was not to be so easily pleased. Little interest was generated.

Somewhat disgruntled, I tried experimenting. ‘If they don’t like my normal photos, I’ll make one up’.

After spending a couple of minutes ‘gluing’ elephants to a scenery photo, I created something obviously faked. It instantly went viral.

My most popular photo ever; a complete fake. Ego withered, I tried a second attempt.

This one, too, went viral.

It’s a funny old world. I think I’ll try another one…

Fake? Nah….

And they say that the camera never lies.

Serengeti - the Endless Plain

Of Wallabies and Coconuts.

And so we flew east to the Serengeti (Swahili for ‘the endless plain’).

Our main aim here was to see the Mara crossing, where over two million wildebeest and zebra migrate to Kenya across the Mara river. Expectations were high. We chose the Serengeti Mobile Camp as it changed site depending on the migration.

When we were there, the migration was at its tail-end, having started early this year. Numbers crossing were low (although you wouldn’t think so looking at the photos). This disappointed the bloodthirsty French, as they were hoping to see the wildebeest decimated by crocodiles as we had done back in 2011 in the Massai Mara. As you will be aware, all Frenchmen are hunters, and get up early each morning to kill any local animal life. They then eat much of it raw for their breakfast.

French women also have their foibles. One of Annick’s is to blame me for everything, even when, occasionally, it is not my fault. One example of this is my hearing. When I do not hear what she says, she arranges a hearing test for me. When she cannot hear what I say, she says that it is because I mumble. Harrumph.

Well, this sorry state of affairs was exacerbated on this holiday by the presence of Caroline and Denis, who both speak English with an American/French accent. This, along with my (alleged) hearing problems, did, upon occasion, lead to some confusion.

On of their common mistakes was to pronounce ‘wildebeest’ as ‘wilder beast’. After repeated correction by myself, their pronunciation transmogrified into something that sounded to me like ‘wallabies’. Another tripping point was ‘crocodiles’ which often sounded like ‘coconuts’. Thus my confusion when they described their sadness at not seeing wallabies being killed by coconuts…

We saw a plethora of wildlife, from leopards sleeping and mating (not necessarily at the same time)…

Cheeta sleeping and not sleeping…

Lions sleeping…

Rhino hiding in bushes

Vultures doing…disgusting stuff…

And, well, so much that my camera nearly overheated.

Here' a link to my favourite photos from the Serengetti. (Flickr Album link)

Tarangire National Park

Tales of baby tigers and penguins.

We are on safari again, but this is no repeat journey, this is the real deal. Tanzania has more wildlife than you can shake a stick at, and I feel that we have seen most of it. in just one week.

This blog is somewhat delayed due to the complete lack of hi-tech communication suffered over the ten days abroad. I say ‘suffered’, but, in fact, it was bliss. No intruding phone calls, meals taken without everyone texting friends and playing angry birds. Peace in our time.

Tanzania; a first time visit for Annick and I, along with Caroline and Denis for whom it was a first ever safari. They are two lucky bustards! Ahem.

The safari trucks we used all week were the very latest Toyotas. Comfortable, spacious, designed for wildlife spotters and photographers in mind, with 240V charging points next to each seat.

From the airport pick-up at Kilimanjaro, we spent a couple of hours passing through the local towns, with instructions to keep our cameras out of sight to avoid the local down-and-outs. On reaching the Tarangire National Park, we were surrounded by all manner of timorous beasties. The density of wildlife here has to be seen to be believed.

Our guide in Tarangire was the endlessly ebullient Raymond. He was forever filling us with information (some good, some… not so good). When he started a sentence with 'latest research shows…’ we quickly learned that bull was soon to follow. Always the jocker.

He asked us what we wanted to see, and he would then attempt to comply. My quest, for instance, was to see leopard. On the very first evening he found one for us. Unfortunately, this was to prove all those months of eye surgery (to make my new bionic eyes) wasted.

“Ah, there’s a leopard!” He said.

“Where?” We cried.

“In that tree” he said.

“What tree?” I replied…

Even when we parked next to the aforementioned tree, we had real difficulty seeing the leopard, so effective was its camouflage. I took pictures and, on returning home, I enlarged, refined and photoshopped the images until, finally, I could see the bloody thing…

We were later to get much better, stunning sightings of leopards in the Serengeti, but for now, he had kept his promise.

You want Zebra? We got zebra (bums and all)

You want trees? Raymond could track 'em down…

Some of which contained a surprise…

You want romance? We got romance…

You want dental care? We got teeth…

We challenged him to find many different species. He succeeded with most, failing only at baby tigers and penguins (duh).

The sunsets kinda made up for it.

And so, after three incredible days in the Tarangire National Park, the great white hunters left for one of the most amazing places on this entire planet.

The Serengeti.


Here’s a link to all the best photos from the Tarangire National Park (link to a Fickr album)

Keep your eyes open for the next blog, 'The Serengeti - Tales of Wallabies and Coconuts’.