Gnome Trek Series 3, Episode 1, Time I was on my way.

Mordor, the Final Frontier. 

These are the voyages of the Flying-Brick ‘Gnome’. Its five-day mission: to explore Middle Earth, to seek out foreign looking life, and generally kill 'em all. To boldly ramble where no gnome has rambled before...

After a long winter break, the Gnome was raring to go. 

We had no time for spreading roots, the time had come to be gone, and though our health we drank a thousand times, it was time to ramble on.

Our quest was to cross into Mordor, otherwise known (in the quaint local tongue) as l'Ariège. 

So, did I succeed in my quest? Well, I ain't tellin' no lie, mine's a tale that can't be told. My freedom I hold dear.

Having said that, days ago in days of old when magic filled the air, I was in the darkest depths of Mordor. I met a girl so fair but Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her.

Shitty luck huh?

Here's the full story (that cannot be told...)

I've been this way ten years to the day. Or maybe fifty...

I gotta ramble on.

Apologies to Led Zeppelin...