The Saga Continues - The Fellowship of the Snook

"Give us back our sovereignty!" They chanted in their millions. "We want our own government to make our own rules!" They cried.

That would be the same government that couldn't organise a pissing competition in a toilet? Clearly there is something wrong, something amiss. 

Has someone been meddling? Has someone been interfering with our benighted country?

Of course.

It can only be the Dark Lord...

To find and defeat the Dark Lord, we six adventurers set off into the depths of Mordor. Six adventurers under the guise of the Snooker Club off for a skiing weekend.

On the left we have 'Two Drinks' Mifa, one of the little people, so named because, well it's obvious really. Next to her is the Elven Corine, then Lady "Chatterly" Natalie, so named because of the number of donkeys with missing legs, and the frequent ripping off of clothing. Then the infamous 'Elf 'Azard. Next; 'Soggy Bottom' and finally the second of the little people, '50mm' Ian.

Six adventurers making up the Fellowship of the Snook.

Our cunning plan immediately fell into problems. First was the Snooker Club cover, as only two of us played snooker. And even that was debatable.

Then the skiing bit. For skiing you generally need snow...

Ah. There's a bit.

After much discussion, involving copious amounts of food and drink, we set off into the forest.

 The Deep Dark Forest.

 At the end of the first day, we achieved dizzying heights, but spotted no evil ones.

although here are two suspicious looking characters. (Thanks to '50mm' Ian for this photo. Good luck with your f-stops Ian)

The next day found us deeper in the Deep Dark Woods.

 The skies started to darken. The form of a giant ring could be seen. Surely a sign?

 We even spotted some more snow...

Soggy Bottom found some too...

We were getting close.
Close to giving up.

On our final morning, we tried a different tactic. We headed off in the open, camouflaged as simple peasants.

Suddenly we saw something shocking! (A dead badger)

 We climbed Mount Doom to find an ominous building surrounded by the dead.

Finally we had found what we came for. Two formidable creatures in white dresses. What wizardry was this? Surely these were two of the White Walkers? Sarumen? Sauron?
Nope. Worse.
They were the dreaded Catholics. It appears that not all of them are in prison!

We had to escape quickly, as the bar was closing soon.

Darkness descended upon our quest. The fellowship was broken. Britain was doomed to continue its disorganised pissing competition...

However.

Unknown to the broken fellowship, their search had alerted the Dark Side. They were now known to the darker powers.

He that shall not be named had already infiltrated their little band.

One of them had been turned to the Dark Side.

His words may give him away...

“The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner."

Now I am the master.”

"No, Luke, I am your father"