Gnome Trek. Episode 5: Of Snow and Sky.

France, the Final Frontier. 

These are the voyages of the Flying Brick ‘Gnome’. Its continuing mission: to explore our world, to seek out new life and new restaurants, to boldly go where no gnome has gone before...

Episode 5: Of Snow and Sky

Our mission: to seek and destroy remnants of a strange substance found lurking in the upper reaches of the Pyrenees. 

Our weapon: Sky - hunter of small furry animals, seeker of fetid filth, devourer of unpleasant  excrement, man’s best friend.

The week had started damply, with wall to wall 'mountain drizzle', so named due to it being drizzle and, well, found in the mountains, as opposed to that other kind called ‘Welsh drizzle’. 

Two damp days later and the Gnome was ready for action. 

And so to the next morning...

A clear sky

Gnome stood proud in a kind of brick-like fashion, ready to spew forth its secret weapon; Sky. 

Sky leaped forward eagerly that fine morning, ready for her first job. After this delightful deposit, she regained her usual level of eagerness, hovering somewhere between procrastination and prostration. For now, she was erring towards the eager end of the spectrum, but there was to be a steep climb and thus a keen test of her ability to avoid prostration. Her previous effort had left her almost crippled, but a couple of weeks of intensive training has seen an immense improvement. She could now get up without aid, as long as food is involved...

We set off uphill on the trail of some snow, and what easier trail to follow than a ski lift...

Sky is adept at searching out wild timorous beasties, and was intent on hunting down every last mole by digging them out.

Yes, Sky was turning a mountain into a molehill.

She climbed directly towards the peak. Well, directly in the doggy sense of the word, including, as it does, multiple diversions for sniffing out beasties and poopies, with scant regard for mother natures more colourful bits...

Then the mountain stirred. It had become aware of intruders. It was conscious of interlopers, and it prepared to launch its defences. Firstly, it did that usual thing that mountains do with gravity causing the body's weight to rapidly increase its drag. Then it thinned the air, as mountains do, making respiration more rapid. All this is standard mountain fare, designed to deter the decrepit. But this mountain had another trick, a special defence...

An ominous hissing sound reached our ears. As this screeching peaked, the mountain belched forth violent jets of red hot lava, with added sparkly bits.

Ok, not lava. Technical hitch. Wrong kind of software.

Sky skilfully avoided these jets, which was a little odd as she is normally attracted to wet stuff. I think that maybe she prefers the dirty brown kind. 

The mountain's peak was now in sight, in fact we nearly tripped over it...

And then Sky spotted her goal. Snow. 

And for Sky snow means.... 

brain-seizure.

One of Sky's slaves decided to help out. The camera man was much amused...

After much happy frolicking about, there was little left of the white(ish) fluffy(ish) stuff, and thus Sky's mission was fulfilled. 

By now the jets were quiescent, so the decent was started.

The jets restarted.

Once I find out who did that....

And so Sky's day had come to a close, giving her the opportunity to fall prostrate and spend much needed time attempting to digest the day's intake of poops. 

Meanwhile her slaves filled their stomachs with something slightly more appetising...

Sky was content. Knackered, but content. 

Sky - hunter of small furry animals, seeker of fetid filth, devourer of unpleasant excrement, man’s best friend.

Sky of the Gnome.

Go Sky!

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Next: Sky and the Trail of Death...