Of Relaxation and Limericks

Just because I am now retired does not mean that I can easily relax. There is just so much to do, that I feel as if I'm being spread too thinly, like marmite on toast, as Bilbo might say in a different universe.
And there are still plenty of challenges, not all related to avoiding a pee in the middle of the night. Take as an example Ian's challenge of writing a limerick. For those of you whom are not Brits (European or otherwise), a limerick may confound you nearly as much as marmite.
I will post my response to this challenge at the end of this blog, thus building suspense in new and tortuous ways.
Back to relaxation. It is true that the stresses of running a business have now been lifted, but other problems persist.
If anyone says to me again that 'these are not problems; they are opportunities' I'll shove their stupid management speak up where the giant ball of fire never radiates.
So how do you deal with these bleedin' 'opportunities'? I normally like to shove them into an airtight compartment and seal it shut. Sadly, no matter how airtight, they do tend to leak every now and again.
I am by no means alone in this quandary. Our friends Lindsay & Nigel, are in a similar boat, and in search of Nirvana, came to us last week. As I am the very antithesis of a relaxation councillor, you may wonder at their sanity. My therapy for them was to take them to our retreat in the Pyrénées, cunningly called the 'Hydeaway'.
Initial training consisted of practicing walking the dogs near our farmstead...

where Lindsay proved her unequaled ability at finding equines in need of cuddles...

Once they were well versed in picking up dog poo, we headed for the hills....

Discarding the traditional incomprehensible method of hill climbing, that of riding a bloody bike, we decided that internal combustion was a mite easier...

Reaching the summit with this arduous method required the usual 'I've just climbed a mountain' photo...

Despite everything, this form of relaxation appeared to have worked a treat. As demonstrated by Nigel's efforts at gardening...

We did try a little randomised rambling, but Nigel's ankle injury, picked up in the Crimea he tells me, reduced these efforts to a stroll, much to everyone's relief.

Our achievements led us to celebrate in the usual fashion...

Well, it was an intense few days trying to relax. Did it work? May be time will tell. If they return for another session within the seven years it took to return this time, then maybe it will have been a success.
And so to that work of art that you have all been waiting for, the relaxation limerick....

Whilst attempting to find relaxation
And shun terminal income taxation
I decided "Retire!
To the mountains, aspire!"
And buggered my lung circulation.

"Editor's Note: Phil's lung problems, brought on by whooping cough a mere two years ago, have all but skittered away into another of those compartments that he was rabbiting on about. I'm sure that they too will leak out from time to time to produce another lame excuse for a blog."