Believing in Heaven

So.
So you think you can tell Heaven from Hell?
Blue skies from pain?
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

Most people who profess a belief in heaven, when asked where it is, point up to the skies.
To be fair, this is a belief driven by hope and need, not by any substance or rationality. Well, like any belief I suppose.
The one thing that could be said to distinguish us from other animals, abstract thought, is the one thing that shows up our deep ignorance of the world about us.
Take my dogs for instance. (Please). Pippa's strongest belief is in rugs, and the simple pleasure of lying on them. Sky's belief is in her stomach. The rest of her is simply a life support system for her stomach. When eating she is truly in paradise. When she is not eating she is thinking about eating. When she sleeps she dreams about eating.
Neither of these dumb animals are dumb enough to believe that whilst in the process of putrefying, we somehow live on. Bleh.
It is, however, a comforting thought. (As long as you bypass the putrefying bit.)
Except, that is, when taken to its logical conclusion.
Are we really going to live together for all eternity with our family? Most families can't even get on with each other for a few hours let alone for all eternity. This is why Christmas is actually a satanic ritual.
When together for all eternity, Mum will be there nagging that I haven't phoned her since the Almighty knows when.
How many coffees will I end up making for the missus in all eternity? An infinite number?
What will happen to all those toenail clippings?
Heaven does begin to sound more like hell the more you look at it.

Working on the assumption that there is a heaven and it is 'up there', I thought I'd go and take a look.
If everyone is right, and, wherever you are on the planets surface, heaven is 'up', there can only be one logical conclusion. Well, apart from mass delusion of course. Heaven must be in the clouds! Otherwise it couldn't be in all directions, and, of course, the substance of clouds stop us from seeing it!
Easy.
Getting to the clouds is easy too. Just take a sunny weekend in the South of France with a weather forecast of clear skies, and head for the Pyrénées. A meteorologist's nightmare.
This we did last weekend.
Leaving the sunny blue skies of Montauban, we soon discovered that the distant mountains were obscured by clouds.

At this point I began to realise that my conscious being had been taken over by Pink Floyd.
(For those of you not of a certain age, just ignore that last remark).
Our long forest walks were considerably shortened by deluge and mist.

For indeed yes, we were within the clouds themselves, the veritable substance of Heaven. We were there. In Paradise.
At first I felt that this was a correct conclusion. The small restaurant housed right there in the middle of heaven provided us with what was certainly a heavenly meal. Starting with a perfect Trappist beer (very appropriate), followed by perfectly fried bacon (proof we were not actually in France). An entire half litre of the blood of Christ, (one of JC's good points I think, turning water into wine, although I suspect he must've used grapes like everyone else) then a café gourmand to die for (a little late for that I thought).
My suspicions were aroused however when presented by the bill.
Then I thought, "Where was Mum?"
It is true that I had to make lots of coffees for 'er indoors, but I'm pretty sure it was short of an infinite number.
And no obvious signs of toe clippings either.
So was it really Heaven? Were we in Paradise?
I would argue that we were. At the risk of coming over all philosophical, life is all we've got and its up to us how we interpret it. We all have heaven in our lives, and we all have hell. It is up to us which side of the line between the two that you wish to live. Well, up to us and the hand of Fate. Hmmmm..... Fate....... something else that I need to take a closer look at....
On a less philosophical and more 'feet in the sludge of reality' mode, I spent years studying physiology and I can assure you that when we're gone, we are gone. So live life for now guys! (Oops, slipped back into nauseous philosophy mode again).
To prove the point, we returned after a wet weekend to a glorious new day in the real heaven.

Where I can look up at the clouds and think, "Hey, the clouds are beautifully formed today, and full of wet stuff".

Although I do have this nagging feeling that I should phone my mum....

A few parting words from the Floyd:

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.