A Fortnight in the Wild: Chapter 1

In Arusha

"In Tanzania, it was more than one hundred tribal units which lost their freedom; it was one nation that regained it."

Julius Nyerere

"An adventure every day please" we asked of Ian, our guide and friend of many years.

"Take care what you ask for" responded the universe...

Previous chapter 'Into Africa' here.

We had escaped, if but for two weeks, from the intense, climate changing heat of home. Forty degrees plus is something best experienced by not being there. Africa, at first sight, may not appear to you to be the ideal environment to escape such heat, but you'd be wrong.

Upon landing at Kilimanjaro Airport, deep in the heart of Africa, extra layers of clothing were quickly added. Then followed the laborious process of getting through health checks (they check your temperature by pointing a gun at your head) and then customs (filling in interminable paperwork all stating the same endless details that no one will ever read). I do hope it ends up as something useful. 

Bog-rolls spring to mind.

As the queues ground slowly towards freedom, I felt sympathy for all those Brits that will soon have to do the same thing just to get out of their own country to get into their own continent. Poetic justice for some. Actual injustice for most of us.

So far, after having spent all day on planes crammed together with masses of virus-shedding humanity, in-dispersed with endless queueing along with masses of even more virus-shedding humanity, it would be difficult to describe the day as an adventure; more of a monotony. Adventure was yet to come. Monotony was alleviated by modern tech (in the form of phones, tablets and bottles of wine) and frequent visits to the loo (possibly due to the bottles of wine).

We had arrived in the correct number of pieces with all of our minimal luggage. Spoiler alert: this luck was not to last...

Once emotionally reunited with Ian, we set off on our first adventure. 

That of driving in the dark on the roads of Arusha.

This photo is somewhat misleading. For one thing, this picture was taken in the day. At 6:30pm the sun plummets out of the sky, and all is dark. The only lights on the roads are those on some of the vehicles infecting Tanzanian roads. Many seem to think headlights to be an optional extra. 

This photo also infers that the roads are empty. They are not. I waited a long time to get this shot, as standing in the middle of the road amidst normal traffic is a once in a lifetime experience.

Of course, most roads are not as wide and flat as this one. Although road markings and traffic lights exist, they appear to be mostly ignored. In Tanzania, most people drive on the left. But only 'most' people. Driving at night with cars hurtling towards you on your side of the road with no lights can, I feel, rightly be described as an adventure.

This picture more accurately shows the streets of Arusha. Dirt roads, but clean roads (appart from the dirt...).

We were to spend a couple of nights at our friends home...

Their house is splendid, although unfinished. A kitchen would be a great addition. Ian has been gradually building it as he amasses enough money for a few more bricks. Thankfully architects fees are zero and planning permission does not exist. And building regs? 

Don't make me laugh.

Their garden is full of life. You plant a tree and it grows in front of your eyes. And the birds! All these photos were taken in the space of fifteen minutes.

In between being wined and dined we did manage a walk around the neighbourhood, passing a great deal of building work in various stages of ruin and, more importantly, past 'forests' of my favourite 'fruit'; coffee beans.

We passed by the kids school...

Many of the schools, such as this one, are private. State schools do exist, but with over a hundred kids in each class, many parents choose private. A very significant cost to parents there, hard hit by the pandemic.

The kids love it and are thriving. They are the future. 

We also visited a recycling centre...

...with which I was extremely impressed. I had expected the usual tat, but discovered a rich, caring, working environment for the disabled while recycling waste at the same time. We could learn much from this place.

Our stay was coming to an end, we were to leave the next morning for the local airstrip.

Say farewell to the most welcoming family ever! We miss them already!

We will be back.

That night we slept safe and sound, ready for our flight into the Serengeti.

Into the Endless Plain.

Into nature, red in tooth and claw.

Next Chapter Into the Serengeti

A Fortnight in the Wild: Preface

Into Africa

"The survival of our wildlife is a matter of grave concern to all of us in Africa. These wild creatures amid the wild places they inhabit are not only important as a source of wonder and inspiration, but are an integral part of our natural resources and our future livelihood and well being. In accepting the trusteeship of our wildlife we solemnly declare that we will do everything in our power to make sure that our children's grand-children will be able to enjoy this rich and precious inheritance.

"The conservation of wildlife and wild places calls for specialist knowledge, trained manpower and money, and we look to other nations to co-operate with us in this important task - the success or failure of which not only affects the continent of Africa but the rest of the world as well."

Julius K. Nyerere (1st President of Tanzania), Arusha Manifesto, 1961.

A love of animals, a love of photography, a love of Africa, a love of marmite. All collide to imbibe me with an instinct to migrate. And have marmite soldiers...

This time it was to be two weeks in Tanzania, on the endless plains of the Serengeti. 

Since the age of six years old, I had wanted to go to Africa. 'Daktari' was my guiding star. 

It was to take a very long time to achieve my dream, but now, in my dotage, I can comfortably sit back and say "I've been there, I've done that." And I have to do it again. And again. Yet another addiction. 

My trips to Africa have given me the privilege of having taken many thousands of photos. Here are some of my favourites:

Our two weeks in Tanzania this time were absolutely stunning. Full of everything from incredible wildlife and amazing adventures, to irritating insects and interesting intestinal movements.

Packing luggage for such an adventure is an art form. The small planes used to bus everyone around the Serengeti and other National Parks insist on a limit of fifteen kilos each. Years of practice now mean that it merely takes two months to pack everything in its ideal place. Only to be changed half hour before leaving. 

The fifteen kilo limit does not gel easily with the cabin baggage limit of twelve kilos imposed by KLM, our main carrier. Even so, this is made possible by maximal use of camera equipment and minimal use of underwear. 

Thus all geared up, we arrived at check-in only to be told one of each of our two bags would need to go into the hold. 

Would we ever see them again?

Leaving home at three o'clock in the morning and finally getting through Kilimanjaro customs at nine o'clock in the evening is not exactly my idea of fun. The promised queues in Toulouse did not appear. The promised queues in Amsterdam were exceded.

All of this is grist for the mill for us adventurous types. Grist gets ground down to flour. I know exactly how it feels. 

The documentation finished with i's dotted and t's crossed out, the packing packed in, packed out, then packed in again, the airports endlessly navigated, the heads endlessly aching, we arrived ready for our much awaited safari into deepest Africa.

What can possibly happen in as little as a fortnight? 

A lot.

Here is just a glimpse of what is to come...

Over the next few weeks the details of this, our best safari ever, will be revealed. 

Try hard to keep incontinence at bay...

Chapter 1 In Arusha here

Six months of family.

Hmmm. Six whole months (and more) of family. Fear not, it is not as bad as it may seem...

First off, a rerun of the previous year, posted here because, well, I love the music.

The family is ok too...

For xmas, we had Jon, Luke, Marta and Finley. Apologies for the duplicate use of Deep Purple...

And so we arrive at the start of this year.

Getting away to the Pyrenees has been fundamental to our mental health, clearly something in need of serious care.

As it is difficult for us to get there, each trip is special. Thus I am going to bore you with them all. Our first trip...

and then number two...

And then again with Lisa and Sienna. Hmmm, did I say we hardly ever get there? I guess it only feels like that...

We did, however, manage a day out at the zoo. I do have a fondness for animals...

We managed a trip over to Plague Island...

Finally, two videos about growing up...

Well, nearly finally. Here is a special bonus of when the two of us actually managed to get away for a couple of days BY OURSELVES!

It is also a good excuse to play a bit of Led Zeppelin...

And so the first six months draws to a close, and we ready ourselves for a much anticipated trip to our favourite part of the world: Tanzania. Get yourselves ready for some more videos.

In fact, with a certain amount of luck, you may soon get a taster. Watch this space...

Six Months Outside

 Six months hard labour. Six months in the field. Six months and now, finally, I can sit back and look at the fruits of all that labour. And then I'm going to bugger off...

This garden has become part of me and I part of it. Besides that, it can be a real shit...

And so, to celebrate those eons of toil, those battles against all that nature can throw at me, those litres of infused coffee... here, finally, at last, in one place, are all the stunning videos of our garden this year.

And a few less stunning videos mixed in to keep you amused.

First off: Two videos encapsulating the fight against the freezing hoards of hell...

Winter in Hyde Parc, parts one and two......

Then, in March, a major clean up, mass pruning verging on total genocide. This was seriously the low point in the gardening year, pruning, cutting, slashing, destroying. This is the end of all things. But even now, colour survives and eventually rules. Ooooh, I like happy endings... 

May enters stage right with what can only be described as a fundamentally stunning vista of colour and, well, erm, it's pretty good... Gardening meets God. 

Just as we thought things could not get better, May explodes into colour!!!...

...with flowers that you would not believe. Seriously, you will not believe your own yes. May produces the most amazing variety of colours and shapes. Sit back and just absorb this incredible beauty...

But there's more! Nature has decided to supersede even that. Breathe deeply, enter at your own risk...

Yes, there are flowers, yes there is colour, but beware, there be monsters...

...and that's just the first half of the year. There is more to come. Unless that bloody great asteroid hits...

Six Months in the Sidings

 We have spent many many of hours of hard labour on this strange project this year, so it seems only fair that we should inflict some of this pain upon you all. You know how much you all love it...

First off, a round up of how we got where we are. 

Why? is a question I prefer not to ask...

So, this year, the main area of work has been on the sidings. Originally meant to be just a parking area for our immense panoply of locomotives and wagons, it has grown into something almost outside of our control. 

This video shows the Scrap Yard, aka 'that bit that we didn't know what to do with'...

At the other end of the sidings is the Transfer Table. This is Thierry's 'Opus Magnum', his 'Raison d'Etre'. 

It's not actually finished yet, but here's a preview of this magnificent achievement...

Thus, albeit not yet finished (to the surprise of absolutely no-one) here is the sidings in all it's glory...

Just past the sidings is a French village. A French village with a difference. The difference being that it appears to have been recently invaded by aliens. This is not exactly a common event. I have not seen anything like it in our local village for a very long time. Not since last Thursday anyway...

And so, as time passes like a TGV on steroids, here is, finally, the entirety of our layout in an amazing breath-taking video. Please fasten your seatbelts and take all precautions necessary. Paper bags can be found in the pockets in-front of you.

The next six months? Well, that depends on so many things. The weather (heat waves drive me out of the garden into the climate controlled alternative universe of the Barn Station) , the spare time (yeah, right, maybe not so much), union strikes (so far they have not affected transport in the Barn Station, but you know the French...), Brexit (Well, that screws everyone yes?), Covid (that too) and, most credibly, further invasions by many-limbed aliens...

Gnome Trek Series 3, Episode 1, Time I was on my way.

Mordor, the Final Frontier. 

These are the voyages of the Flying-Brick ‘Gnome’. Its five-day mission: to explore Middle Earth, to seek out foreign looking life, and generally kill 'em all. To boldly ramble where no gnome has rambled before...

After a long winter break, the Gnome was raring to go. 

We had no time for spreading roots, the time had come to be gone, and though our health we drank a thousand times, it was time to ramble on.

Our quest was to cross into Mordor, otherwise known (in the quaint local tongue) as l'Ariège. 

So, did I succeed in my quest? Well, I ain't tellin' no lie, mine's a tale that can't be told. My freedom I hold dear.

Having said that, days ago in days of old when magic filled the air, I was in the darkest depths of Mordor. I met a girl so fair but Gollum, and the evil one crept up and slipped away with her.

Shitty luck huh?

Here's the full story (that cannot be told...)

I've been this way ten years to the day. Or maybe fifty...

I gotta ramble on.

Apologies to Led Zeppelin...

The Pit

 Disaster is everywhere around us. But not all is as it seems…

The giant self-flagellation that is Brexit has brought the United Kingdom to disunity and to its knees, permanently changing it from a world-leading power into a xenophobic nation of poverty and distrust. This xenophobia, however, not only didn’t keep out the feared ‘foriners’ (whose numbers have actually increased), but also failed to keep out the dreaded virus that has swept across the world.

Seeing this double whammy affecting Europe, Putin has launched his endgame. 

Now the entire world holds its collective breath. 

Its attention now focused on the war in Europe, other forces are at work, going mostly unnoticed. The climate totters forever onwards to the edge. 

Now.

Now is the ideal moment. 

Not only Putin is playing the Game of Worlds. 

Look behind you…