Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 7: Going to the Dogs.

We awoke this morning parked next to 'the House of the Wolves' (La Maison des Loups). 

Me? I'd had a good night and felt up to an entire hour of being out with the kids. "Oh good" I thought, "a small park with a couple of wolves. This shouldn't take long..."

Uh, no. 

This park is large and really well run with lots of activities for all ages.

So we spent the entire day in it. 😵‍💫

So much for a quiet peaceful relaxing day...

Sleeping close to nature is good for the soul and brings peace into your heart.

Unless you're a kid. Then it seems to fill you with extreme, constant, indefatigable  energy. Who needs wind turbines? Kids could power the world.

The wildlings ran ahead, we attempted to follow. This 'Wolf House' is big. A large forested area with a close to natural habitat for several species of wolves. 

Erm, like these three for instance...

Yes. This was going to be another day (contrary to my doctors advise) of stressed limbs, fatigue and compromised circulatory systems.

Annick took the easy way...

The kids, meanwhile, were panning for wolves.

Found some! Erm, I'm not convinced that these are real wolves, at least one of them is a unicorn.

Uh oh. Here they are..

And a smaller version...

By lunchtime, having walked halfway around the planet, we thought it about time to hit another restaurant. This one selling wolf burgers.

Cheers!

There was still much to see, so after recharging our aging batteries, we were dragged back into the park to feed the wolves.

Feeding wolves is quite entertaining, even when it involves your grandchildren.

Annick discovers that wolves are less painful than kneeling down...

It is surprising how close you can get to a wolf without serious damage. I never found that with most of the women I've known...

Kindred spirits...

There were even some alternative colour variations for those few remaining fans of Brexit...

It has been a long entertaining, educational, exhausting day. We finally arrived at that moment when the kids go to bed.

Ah no. 

Thus is life...

Thankfully, all human behaviour is reflected in nature.

We are but another species of pack animal.

Good night...

(Next Day Here)

Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 6: Out of Andorra.

Day 6

Today was not the highlight of our sojourn. The girls went into the nearby highly advertised and highly priced 'Naturland'. Me? I couldn't hack it. The lack of oxygen was becoming a problem.

The local entertainment was impressive but no good for kids (or grandparents) with the exception of a 'farm' that did not even justify its name. 

And a pony ride that only Kaïly was allowed on. She was uncertain, Lyzëa was upset, and Annick is frightened of horses!

Shame I missed all that...

After an amazing traditional English meal of fish 'n chips, and then a siesta obligatoire, we headed north out of Andorra.

En route we needed to find somewhere to empty out the van, not an easy thing to find, after all, you cannot leave all your crap just anywhere. Although the English water companies may disagree.

Andorra is not entirely motorhome friendly. Nor is it entirely pocket friendly. During our first visit to Andorra, many years ago when the kids were young, it was noticeable how cheap everything (except skiing) was. Fast forward to now, with the grand-kids; everything (except pollutants such as fuel and cigarettes), is really expensive. Such is progress.

We stayed the night next to a wolf park near Ax-les-Thermes.

I slept...

(Next exciting episode here)

Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 5: Into (and nearly out of) Andorra.

Day 5.

Today we hiked. It was a long hike, steeply uphill for the bits that weren't steeply downhill. It was a hike of four (and a bit) quarters.

The first quarter involved a difficult climb up a stony track with two very reluctant grandchildren, with multiple moans and groans and "are we there yet"s. It was very hard going with frequent stops taking twice the time expected.

The second quarter involved a further difficult climb up a stony track with one very old git (me), moaning and groaning. "We need to stop because popi's heart rate is too fast". It was very hard going with frequent stops taking thrice the time expected. 

It was somewhere up here that I had a hazy memory of my consultant's words; "Work up to walking long distances slowly and avoid high altitudes". 

Ooops.

We had finally made it to the summit...

The third quarter involved a very steep downhill climb, taxing my limbs but allowing my heart rate to settle to a more survivable rate.

We then came across the first of two lakes.

Our two young wildlings had found a new source of energy and kept well ahead of us oldlings. The reason for this could have something to do with the newfound knowledge of a restaurant by the next lake ahead.

And so we come to the final quarter. Relaxing, dining. 

Next to a fabulous view...

...with a fabulous bottle of Vieux Chateau Lamothe (small bottle or large glass?)...

...a fabulously healthy meal...

...and a fabulously large bill.

The final 'bit' of the walk was the last descent to the parking area where we had spent the night. Needless to say the kids, now without the promise of a further restaurant stop, regained their previous argumentative dispositions...

We then drove through Andorra and, due to a slight miscalculation of scale, nearly came out the other side. The giant signs saying 'Farewell, come back soon" were something of a giveaway. After berating the gps (as the guilty are oft to do) we rerouted to higher ground. Another mistake.

There are few roads in Andorra, but what roads there are are surrounded by vertiginous harsh mountains and filled with vertiginous harsh shopping malls and apartment blocks. We did finally regain our correct path and made it to the top of another mountain (mysteriously without shopping mall) to spend the night:

Tomorrow we are to return to France. 

After the sleep of the totally knackered...

(Next episode here)

Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 4: Into The Past.

 We had found a quiet area to park up for the night. By coincidence it was the parking area for the Parc de la Prehistoire, thus our two wildlings' first trip of the day was to be back in time. 

Deep time. 

Access was through a waterfall (of course)...

...then; a narrow path across a lake with certain death on each side...

..and a mountain to climb...

...and labyrinths to navigate...

...but there be monsters...

...to slay with sling-thrown spears...

...although throwing the sling as well may not be such a great idea...

...then to end the day relaxing in their cave, painting about their hunting success...

...while we slummed it in Trevor.

Fear not, we went back to pick up the young adventurers and later arrived in Andorra, ready for the next day's adventure.

Alternatively, a day's non-adventure would be quite nice...

(Next adventure here)

Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 3: Into The Hills.

Day 3

We awoke this morning in the middle of a ski station. Strangely, we were on our own.

The aim to set off at a reasonable hour was thwarted by the usual difficulties involved in herding cats.

Only this time the herd seamed bigger than usual.

We had a rendezvous to keep with a large hole in the ground. 

Numerous toilet stops and the occasional filling of a vomit bag meant missing out on a lazy lunch, arriving just in time for our guided tour of the Grottes de Lombrives. Just in time to wait while they tried to figure out why the train to the top wouldn't run without fuel...

We finally arrived at the cave entrance.

This is a very large cave system, one of the biggest in Europe. There's not a lot of light in caves, thus testing my ability to take hand held photos at less than ⅛ second...

It's not just a long walk, there is also a huge and unnerving stairway leading up and, in the other direction, down. We are told that there are 174 steps, some of which should be more accurately described as trips, winding up around the side of an enormous cathedral cavern. This number of steps is certainly an underestimate, as our specialist counter (Kaïly) counted seventeen thousand and eighty eleven in all.

Reaching the top we finally encountered an enchanted lake.

Instead of swimming the lake, we turned and walked all the way back again. The steps of doom tested my vertigo, which was kept in check by my fear of the kids plunging headlong to their own doom. 

Their mum might be upset.

We were finally freed from terminal claustrophobia with its subtle change of ambient temperature from 10℃ to 30℃. Clearly a great relief to some.

The decent from the caves was without train, which was presumably still without fuel. At least we could catch a glimpse of distant Andorra, where we will head tomorrow...

...but only after going back in time. Deep time.

(Next episode here)

Troll Trek, Series 1 Episode 2: Heading For The Hills.

Day 2 

(Day 1 here) 

There are many advantages to having a bigger camper. One not on that list is its lack of ability to access insanely placed houses. 

This is as close as we could get.

Lugging our luggage up to the Hydeaway is a skill in need of refining. It involved several bags of clothes, food, groans and moans. All of which helped us collapse into comatose sleep later that first night. 

And so to our second day away. Today we have had to hang around the Hydeaway, waiting for a man to come and drag our medieval electrical system into the twenty first century. I wish him luck. 

Surprisingly it only took him a few minutes. Now the whole world can access our electrical status. I'm sure they will be much amused.

While awaiting this tricky task to be done, we relaxed around the house, the kids experimenting with potions in the garden, while I tried to figure out why a butterfly bush was so named...

Once the electrics were sorted, updated and opened up to posterity, we went for a quick visit to the local stone throwing contest...

We then repacked the Troll and headed for the hills, the moon setting before us...

Our first stop was to be our favourite mountain foodery...

...then came out first night in Trevor...

(Authors Note: The outbreak of World War 3 was narrowly avoided just before this photo was taken...)

Tomorrow, we head inside the Pyrenees. I'm told that no earthquakes are forecast...

(Next episode here)

Enter the Troll! The new adventures of Trevor the Troll. Series 1, Episode 1

The Gnome's Final Frontier. 

Those were the voyages of the Flying-Brick ‘Gnome’. Its three year mission: to save our sanity, to seek out peace and tranquility, and to generally be uncomfortable. No more to boldly ramble-on where no Gnome had rambled-on before...

Yes it's true. 

The Gnome is dead. 

Long live the Troll !!

In a transmogrification reminiscent of Dr. Who's regular evolutionary upgrades, our beloved Gnome has finally met its maker. It has fallen off its perch, skipped the light fandango, changed its brick-like form into something any brick would be proud of: a bigger brick.

We had finally been forced to realise that escaping into the unknown could be improved by reducing the hours spent making up a sleeping arrangement fit for a contortionist, as well having a notable lack of alimentary infrastructure.

This new brick has a bed. This new brick has a toilet. This new brick is a formidable troll of a motorhome. A formidable troll called... Trevor.

---

En route, after a hectic weekend of packing the entire contents of our house into our new brick on wheels. Then adding the two angels...

Securely strapped in...

...with the occasional stop to feed those in our care with carefully controlled nutrients...

This was to be our first of several nights away with the sprogs, heading into that void between France and Spain called Andorra. 

We had arrived for our first night at that well known corner of paradise in the Pyrenees: The Hydeaway.

This prompts the question, why, having arrived in this corner of paradise, why were we to leave the next day to live in a portable shed in constant search of water and electricity?

This was to be our last night of sanity, for tomorrow we head into the wilderness. 

In Trevor. 

With the sprogs.

Wish us luck.

(Next exciting adventure here!)