Down on the Farm - Part 6 - Painting the Farmhouse

Having used untold gallons of paint and varnish to tart up our new home, it seems only right and proper that I should spend some further time painting pictures of the aforementioned painted rooms for your viewing pleasure. Of course, my ability to put oil paints on canvas stopped at ‘paint by numbers’. Although I was pretty good at that…

So, as per usual, I’ve resorted to the dreaded photoshop. I’ve done this for two reasons other than being clearly appropriate. Firstly, it’s better than looking through endless boring photos of rooms and other exciting bits of houses. Secondly, and most importantly, it annoys the hell out of those of you who hate my ‘trafficking’ of photographs. I’m talking about you Luke, flesh of my flesh, and your acolytes Joe, Lyndsey and Marc. Others wishing to join this cult of anti-traffickers need to apply by postcard and be publicly flogged.

Anyway, back to my glorious attempts at high art…

Here’s a quick tour of the house. See how far you can get without nausea:

The hallway. Yes, really, a fine art painting of a hallway. Can it get any better?

Judging by the next painting of a kitchen, apparently not.

Then we step lightly into the lounge.

Next we lightly trip down a couple of steps to the study.

And cleverly placed next to the study, the main bathroom.

Now the tour guide will take you to the other side of the house, to view the main bedroom. Hopefully Annick has got up by now.

And next to this, some genius has placed an 'en suite’ bathroom, so called because, of course, it is in France…

Next there is the guest wing, cunningly called 'Le Snug’.

Escaping the farmhouse, we now trundle northwards to 'le Snook’. This is probably the most important area of the farmstead, containing, as it does, a snooker table, a bar, and a mezzanine to home those who have partaken too much of the contents of the bar.

Well, if you’ve managed to get this far, you probably should seek help. That ot try again on a larger screen…