PhilHydePhotos: A Fortnight in the Wild: Chapter 13

Stranded

Previous Chapter 'The Art of Seduction' here

Today our plan was to go further from camp, to travel all day away from the Mara towards pastures new.

Today our plan hit something of a hiccup...

Forced from bed at an even more ungodly hour than before, we were well into the wild before the rapidly imbibed coffee began its desired effect, and the sun gave its welcoming morning display.

Our early rise surprised a few of the local inhabitants. I, on the other hand, was still waiting for the coffee to hit home as we trundled past this lone buffalo. You should be wary of lone buffalos. I was having trouble being aware of anything.

We soon came across this pride of lions nonchalantly wandering down the road. The sun was just rising, giving the pride a golden hue.

They were following the tracks made by jeeps (aka a road) rather than cutting across the savannah. They were on the hunt.

If it was a hunt for jeeps, they were in luck.

These guys were of mixed ages, but all looked perfectly capable of ripping a human being apart.

Lacking available human beings, they had a go at each other...

Most wildlife's attitude to jeeps is one of distain. Many herbivores will run if you get anywhere near them, making photography a long distance affair. Some predators will allow you very close, treating you as an object to walk around rather than rip apart. Despite this, the way they look at you can be extremely disconcerting, especially when you consider that there are no sides to the jeeps, totally open, and there are no available weapons apart from your bare hands.

They tend not to attack whole jeeps, merely wait for a part of the jeep to separate away. This is why it is best to stay in the jeep at all times, even if your bladder is insisting otherwise.

This is why it is not deemed a good moment to have a puncture.

So....

Despite there being a label on Ian's shorts saying "Eat me", he survived a little longer.

After replacing a wheel (thank heavens we had two spare) we continued on our way past the ubiquitous lines of lion fodder and their associated expectant scavengers.

There were a few of these giant birds around.

This one obviously developing an alternative to sticking its head in the sand.

Imagine dinosaurs putting all that effort into evolving the ability to fly and thus escape the worst of the effects of that giant asteroid impact, only to lose those same wings and end up like this. Utter proof that evolution has no 'direction'. They better watch out when the next asteroid hits...

Most jackals we saw high tailed it away as soon as spotting us. This guy however decided to hand around, and even came close to investigate what we were.

Even standing unusually still for a moment while I got a portrait of him...

...before winking 'nudge, nudge' at me.

Strangely, most animals have a habit of buggering off when they see us coming. Baboons likewise.

Although some tried to disguise themselves as a tree.

It nearly worked too.

It was time to refuel. Once we found a quiet spot next to a sand river, under the shelter of a tree absent of any noticeably death threats, we dismounted for our usual three-course breakfast and, essentially, coffee and tisane.

I'm staying off that herbal stuff...

Even then, there were still huge numbers of wildebeest looking around desperately for something to eat them.

Some of those things keen on eating them were hanging around on the dried up river bed. This time of year these 'sand-rivers' were merely damp patches. In the rainy season they would be raging torrents.

Here were three lion brothers hanging around together by the water. We decided against paddling.

Further up the sand river were plenty of other forms of foodstuff. Here, a huge buffalo herd (collective noun; 'obstinacy').

Later on we came across even more lions! Here was yet another group of three brothers, albeit much younger.

This guy is waiting for his mane to appear less punk-like. You may notice the belly of the lion behind him. That is one impressive wound. Being a lion is not all fun.

Being constantly covered in flies cannot be all that great either.

Now these two make a handsome couple.

While this one was past his sell-by date.

Another lion. This guy was only a little interested in giving chase...

...as he had already filled up on a tasty snack.

It was here that the afternoon took a disturbing turn. As we were driving carefully across the savannah, a loud whoosh could be heard. Yet another puncture.

Thank heavens for that extra spare wheel.

Except....

You guessed it, the spare was also flat.

We were in something of a predicament. The jeep radio could barely reach the rangers, and they were not responding. Thanks guys. Ian's mobile also had no signal. Thankfully I picked up some signal with mine thanks to my ultra expensive roaming contract, and we managed to contact someone at our base. That was, however, a long way away. It would take a significant amount of time before rescue could come. We were stranded in grass of just the right length to hide even the biggest predator, of which several specimens were suspected to be nearby, possibly watching us with evil intent.

Not ideal conditions for bladders. No way was Annick squatting in that grass!

Ian said "Problems are not challenges; but adventures".

"Hakuna matata."

So we ate lunch while surrounded by things that had the same idea.

For me, it was ok. I had my trusty laptop to hand and could start work on going through what was already an enormous collection of photos. I also had my trusty bottle of wine.

Maybe I would see my kids again and this adventure would not be made into an epic film.

'Stranded in the Serengeti!'.

We were, as you may have surmised, eventually rescued after several hours, and the wheel was replaced by something bearing a distant kinship to another wheel.

It was time to head back to camp instead of taking further risks.