PhilHydePhotos: A Fortnight in the Wild: Chapter 9

Coming And Going

Here is the previous Chapter: The Circle of Life

A woman's scream rent the dark night air.

Men were heard running past our tent towards the source of that terrifying sound. We were helpless. Our blood had turned cold. We could not leave the confines of our thin-walled tent. We could not help fight off the countless monsters. We were sitting ducks.

There was no way we could sleep after such a deep shock.

💤 😴 💤 😴 💤 😴 💤

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The following morning we were woken at the usual insane hour, with our usual coffee, tisane and biscuits. We were thankful that at least some of the kitchen staff had survived.

I dressed quickly, imbibed an overdose of coffee, then signalled help to a nearby spear-bearer to take us to Ian.

"What happened last night, is everyone safe?"

In the deep depths of the previous night, one of the brave guests had screamed upon seeing an intruder in her tent.

A lion?

A hippo?

A monster under the bed?

None of those. A mouse had scampered across the floor...

Is no one safe?

---

This morning's welcoming sunrise was as good as the previous day's, with added fluffy cloudy bits.

Today, our plan was to spend the day by the Mara, on the off-chance that we had the luck to see another crossing. We drove along the northern banks of the Mara for an hour or two seeing little but water and rocks. Well, some of them were rocks.

After a while we could see a build up of wildebeest on the opposite river bank, so we stopped for breakfast by some lumpy water to keep an eye on them and relax over some avocado and cheese sandwiches. Just another mundane morning by death river.

In the process of enjoying a relaxing early morning meal, the tempo suddenly changed. There was movement across the river.

Some of the more reckless wildebeest were jumping down the banking.

This acted like a one way valve, as leaping down was a lot easier than leaping up.

So other less reckless wildebeest assumed that leaping down must be a good idea, and tried it out for themselves.

Not breaking any limbs was deemed a success...

Although a good plan would have been to get out of the bloody way.

Now more wildebeest thought they'd join in. This was turning into a stampede...

...and behold.

They were at it again.

This time the crossing was more orderly.

Although individuals may not have agreed.

"Anyone any idea where we are going?"

"Don't know, but let's try it four a'breast!"

"Sod that, I just want outa here!"

And outa there they were. All without losing family members or even bodily parts. If only all crossings could be like this.

The crocodiles might not agree.

Apparently, this crossing was way too easy and lacking in excitement. A large part of the herd was left on the far banking.

They decided to look for somewhere more adventurous, and left obediently in single-file. Why does this remind me of Brexit?

An hour later they started to head down into another part of the river. This was deemed too dangerous. A bloody great decomposing hippo may have been a vital clue.

This lot clearly didn't know their arse from their elbows, so we left them to it, in search of a more decisive group.

Instead we found this lot.

There were an awful lot of them. Many of them headed down to a large sandbank to take a drink and to suss out the lay of the land.

Clue number one: There were a lot of hippos. They like to congregate where wildebeest fear to tread.

Clue number two. There were dangerous looking geese wandering about...

"Hey Boris, which way do you think we ought to go?"

"Well Nadine, first we'll head down to the beach."

"Oooh, I do love your brilliant mind. And you're sooo handsome. Where now?"

"If I remember rightly, after taking a break in the bar, we head in a straight line till we get to the other side."

"Gosh, I'm so lucky I'm with you. You're just so sublime."

"Of course I am. Now, after walking for a while, we should hit the opposite bank."

"Amazing! You're so clever. You should run for King!"

"Yes, you are right, I've always suspected that I was more equal than everyone else. Ah! Here we are! Now up we go!"

"That's incredible! We made it without getting eaten by crocs or pooped on by hippos!"

"Just stick with me and carry on oozing subservience and you won't go far wrong."

"Thank you so much oh supreme being! Um, weren't we meant to get wet or something?"

"Oooh you are cheeky. Now get off your knees..."

A lone bull elephant looked on in wonder. He had been strutting back and forth secretly guiding the herd back to where it came from.

"Hmm," Thought Putin the Great, "They seem easy to control. I think I have a cunning plan..."

Meanwhile, the real leaders of the universe paddled away...

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It seemed that we were to be out of luck. We had seen four crossings in total, I number most guides thought impossible. We were happy with that, so we sought out some different kinds of life.

This dinosaurian descendant was one such life form. A female Von De Decken Hornbill.

The male version is Zazu, otherwise known as banana beak. "That's MISTER Banana Beak to you, fuzzy!" (Yes yes yes, I know, too many quotes from the Lion King.)

The Swahili name for giraffes is Twiga. That seems appropriate. However, the guides use different names when chatting on the radio to each other (in Swahili). They call giraffes 'Shingo'.

Shingo means neck.

As if I'm not having enough difficulty in learning Swahili...

Now these guys are Tembo. But, of course, the guides call them 'Masikio' which, as I'm sure you're all well aware, means 'ears'.

These guys had just been mucking about in the river.

Therefore the wet look.

Some had been more submerged than others.

Luckily for him he has evolved a snorkel.

Elephants are better designed for a flat earth.

Further upriver, we came across yet another herd gathering by the water's edge. This was turning out to be a busy day.

As we were watching them, trying to gauge their intent (always tricky with such a mindless beast) we spotted elephants crossing even further upstream.