Heading Home: Day 21 of our Awesome African Adventure.

And so to our final day here in Tanzania. The last blog. You must be disappointed...

Normally our last day would be just a drive to the airstrip, then the day spent waiting in airports trying to log on to the airport 'free' wifi, but this time, by a major feat of organisation and pure luck, we had almost all day to go on a drive, our flights not starting until mid-afternoon.

So, our last chance to see rhinos. Our last chance to see caracal Our last chance to get completely bogged down and miss that flight.

Finally, on our last day; a decent sunrise. Up until now they had been spoilt by smoke or clouds. Often both. Today, clear sky with only artistically designed clouds to add ambience.

As usual, a giraffe wanders by in the hope of becoming viral on the internet.

Just incase you are crossing your legs in anticipation: No, we did not find rhinos. We did find quite a lot of bogs though...

Also, this cute bat-eared fox...

...and jackals quite happy to pose for the camera.

As usual, there were large herds all sorts of grass-eating meat-on-legs. These topi for instance...

The lions that we followed yesterday are still around and still hungry. Perhaps they couldn't decide which topi to go for?

These kitties are full of love.

Don't try this at home.

We coasted by the Mara again looking for rhinos.

...and yet again got stuck. This was when we realised for sure that the diff-lock was broken. Being towed out also broke the rear bar. Work required...

After this we had to be much more careful, neither wanting to be rescued again nor missing our afternoon flight.

We did, however, manage to attend the local nose waving competition.

We dined next to a pride of lions dozing on some rocks. As one does.

Then, as needs must, we headed for the airstrip to start our laborious journey back home. 

One sad farewell with our guide and friend Ian. No, that's is not him in the photo...

Four flights lasting all night through to mid-morning the next day.

Five bagage checks of increasing intensity and pointlessness.

Multiple meals at unconventional and inconvenient times of day. 

One flight film in multiple small parts interrupted by meals, drinks, announcements, technological blips, and sleep. 

One car trip, trying to remember where we put our bloody parking ticket and which side of the road to drive on.

Two people sad to leave, happy to be home, totally and completely knackered.

The toothpaste made it till the end.

The Bogs, Part Two: Day 20 of our Awesome African Adventure.

Fear not, we were rescued last night as the sun seemed to disappear with our hopes. We got to camp just in time for food (and the long lost wine) then crashed out...

Forget the shower...

This morning we set off when there was enough light to avoid bogs. 

Well, that didn’t work did it?

There was enough light however to avoid three hungry adult male lions just outside the camp. I had heard these guys during the night, not far from the confines of our lion-resistant canvas tent.

Thank goodness the lions were there to protect us...

The sun rises on our last full day in Tanzania. This day we hunt rhino.

Hunting black rhino is far from easy. They are exceedingly rare, thanks to the magical effects of their compacted nasal hair (horns). Imagine being someone skilled enough to sell the idea that rhino horn has viagran like abilities. Very few have that skill just using lies and misinformation. Brexit anyone?

Anyway, another reason that they are difficult to find is that, despite their enormous size, they can appear to disappear into their preferred daytime environment; the jungle. They tend to only graze in the open at night. They, for some strange reason, are averse to getting blasted by an elephant gun.

Added to these difficulties is the boggy terrain, something that would come back to haunt us.

Thus we spent much of our day being disappointed and stuck in bogs. Thankfully there are plenty of other things to see, if only the long grass and bogs would allow it.

The long grass also made personal hygiene a little difficult. How desperate do you have to be to respond to a call of nature when the grass that surrounds you could contain snakes or safari ants? Safari ants are definitely best avoided. Snakes too.

Then there is the problem of cleaning yourself if you successfully achieve your goal. Most Tanzanians don't use toilet paper, a product rare and too expensive. Instead they use water jets. I admire their aim. Wildlife, on the other hand, achieve hygiene by other methods. 

Here is an ostrich to explain...

Other birds are available...

We then tried to go east and cross a sand river. Forget it, all approach roads to the one bridge were totally bogged down. There was a second bridge. ‘Was’ being the operative word. 

We turned back, and as doing so a leopard ran at speed below us. There was no way we could get near it. 

Instead we managed to find a route down to the edge of the sand river, where some elephants were crossing to meet with another herd. This sand river is clearly inappropriately named.

The banks of this river were however made of sand. This made getting down the bank a mite on the tricky side...

Having an exhausting effect on some of the more overweight family members.

Getting back up appeared easier, involving making you own staircase. 

Leaving here we of course got stuck again. Totally stuck. Help was required but rescue was nearby so it didn't take long to be freed.

We then followed some local lions out of this area. This pride was on the hunt... 

Although, as usual, the male held back, being reluctantly dragged along in the hope of getting his oats. (I look forward to seeing how this translates into French.)

We then went down to the Mara and stayed a while watching the hippos, 
These guys were plagued by giant fleas.

We headed off. 

About five meters. 

Grounded again.

This time no help was at hand, and communication poor to non-existant. We were on our own (appart from the hippos, who seemed quite amused).

After much struggle and teaching of Swahili swear words, Ian jacked the car up and got rocks to put under the tire. After several attempts, we were on our way. This time we were much better equipped. Both red and white wine were available.

Oh well, non of these looked like rhinos...

Tomorrow, our last day. Our last chance to see rhino.

Our last chance to get stuck in a bog...

Next episode here

The Bogs, Part One: Day 19 of our Awesome African Adventure.

[After a couple of days break from sending blogs due to a lack of time, a lack of internet and a lack of mental capacity, I am finally back to torture you all...]

We had delayed heading north by a day as we had heard that conditions up north were a little tricky. Whereas in the west, the smoke had started to overwhelm my bronchioles, in the north the problem was the water-sodden soil. Much of this savannah had been turned to bog. The frogs loved it, the trucks; not so much.

So the day has finally arrived to leave this smouldering part of the Serengeti. We set off early (surprise) leaving the smokey horizon behind us.

Even the high and mighty ones came to bid us farewell.

We had not got far before seeing our first pride of lions. 

An ideal place for breakfast. 

A goshawk looks on...

Our host and guide chose a short-cut to the northern part of the Serengeti by leaving the Serengeti and passing through some local villages where running repairs could be done on our undercarriage. Our joints having become a little stiff...

All our joints...

We re-enter the Serengeti here:

Here you will see a list of rules and regulations. Amongst them:

    3. Please refuse and expose corruptive practices, advances or gestures.

I, of course, complied...

Shortly after entering northern Serengeti we stopped for lunch by the Mara river. A quick refill (although someone had forgotten the wine 😠) and we were off. 

Here, our search had changed. We wanted to see rhinos, but seeing anything has become a trial as leaving the main tracks presents huge challenges. In fact, staying on the main tracks themselves is, in places, impossible.

This was anathema to our brave guide. His normal disregard of local rules as far as staying on-road were concerned had changed. Before; we searched the horizon for species rare and bizarre. Now; we searched the ground just in-front of the truck for solid traction.

One clue to the problems here were the widespread numerous water-holes, normally quite rare. This young elephant was in his element.

After some time spent navigating this bog-ridden landscape, we came across a broken down truck with another truck to help out. The guests within were without. Unbeknownst to them, danger was not far away. 

Skirting the repair crew we headed uphill, to find:

Some of this pack were staring down at the broken-down truck and its tasty tourists

One of the lions in particular showed a lot of interest, eye-balling the unknowing tourists and flicking her tail. It seems likely that she has already tasted human flesh and wanted more. This is not unusual. Tourists, such as ourselves, are well protected within our large trucks. Stay within and you'll be ok. On foot, however, and you are fair game. This seems fair as the likely victims of these top-predators is the predator the most top-of-them-all: poachers. Some of them fail in their task and become victims of their own prey.  

Eventually these lions took their kill (a warthog, not a tourist) and we followed. 

Only to get completely and utterly stuck in a bog.

After about half an hour of trying to outstare five lions, another truck arrived and, guess what, got stuck in the same bog as well.

We checked our supplies for a potential overnight stay in hostile territory. Enough food but still no wine...

I really should have got out of the van to take a picture of all these goings on, but apparently lions have a preference for Europeans.

Finally the cavalry arrived (two trucks and a tractor) and heaved us out intact. Sadly they too had forgotten the wine. 

After such an adventure we headed home, stopping by this immense beast. This elephant is at least forty years old, and on his last set of teeth. 

Talking of which, our supply of toothpaste was now dangerously low. It has been suggested that we use ash instead. Well, why not? It works on our wood stoves. It might just help grate off the coffee stains. 

As we neared our objective, that of getting to our camp for the night in a place of security (in a canvas tent), we came across this majestic beast:

A leopard absorbing the final rays of a dying sun.

Then the usual sunset pic before returning to...

 … oh… hang on. 

We’re stuck in a bleeding bog once more…

Bogs, bogs everywhere,

and all our hopes did droop

Bogs, bogs everywhere,

Nor any bog to poop...

Next episode here